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Tax jokes 💸 in 2024

What do you call an accountant with strong opinions?
– An auditor.

Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then wind up in the hole.

Tax reform is when you take the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and put taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before.

Did you hear about the zombie CPA?
– He charges an arm and a leg.

What do accountants call their children?
– Deduction 214.

What sort of taxes are there on trash bags?
– Hefty ones, and no one is Glad about it.

What did the IRS say to the cat about his litter box deduction?
– I’m sorry, but you can’t claim your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.

What does an accountant say when getting on a train?
– Mind the GAAP.

I’ve got a great idea for tax evasion
– Apparently if you don’t pay your taxes the government will give you free housing free food and a roommate

How do know your child will be a CPA when they grow up? When you read them Cinderella and the pumpkin turns into a golden carriage, they ask,
– “Is that ordinary income or capital gain?”

Why won’t the IRS audit cows?
– Because farmers milk them dry.

Nothing makes a person more humble about their income than to fill out a tax form.

Have you heard the one about the fun accountant?
– Me neither.

Did you hear about the chiropractor who got in trouble with the IRS?
– It was for back taxes.

How do you know you have a good CPA?
– He has a tax loophole named after him.

What’s the difference between counting and accounting?
– Counting goes “one, two, three, four…” Accounting goes “ah-one, ah-two, ah-three, ah-four…”

How do dairy farmers do their taxes?
– The ones with simple taxes use a cowculator, and the ones with complicated situations have to go to an accowntant.

I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.

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