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Tax jokes 💸 in 2025

What do actuaries do to liven up their parties?
– Invite an accountant.

How do accountants pick their friends?
– They stick with assets and drop liabilities.

Why did the IRS audit the church?
– For reporting false profits.

What does an accountant say when getting on a train?
– “Mind the GAAP.”

What do you call someone without enough personality to be an accountant?
– An economist.

How does Santa Claus list elves on his tax returns?
– As “dependent Clauses.”

The IRS is a place that says, “Watch your step” going in, and “Watch your language” going out.

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
– Depreciation.

What do you call an accountant with an opinion?
– An auditor!

There are three types of accountants:
– Those who can coun’t and those who can’t.

Why did the goose have a big tax refund?
– Because his bill was tax de-duck-table.

Nothing has done more to stimulate the art of creative writing than the itemized deduction section of t income tax forms.

Why do accountants make good lovers?
– They’re great with figures!

Wanna know how to fund the Taliban?
– Pay your taxes.

Why do accountants have great abs?
– Because they’re good at number crunching.

I was told when I bought solar panels for my house, they would be free because of the tax breaks.
– Does this mean they are on the house?

It is more deductible to give than to receive.

How do accountants manage to stay out of debt?
– They learn to act their wage.

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