Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Swimming jokes 🏊🤿 in 2025

Where do zombies like to go swimming?
– The Dead Sea

I prefer to swim in saltwater since I am allergic to pepper.

The heart patient refused to take swimming lessons
– because he was worried about the strokes.

A priest and a Rabbi are very good friends, so they decide to go to a remote lake for a swim.
– Of course they’re swimming naked as you do. All of a sudden, two busses pull up. Out of one pours the rabbis congregation and out of the other pours the priests congregation. Their clothes are on the other side of the lake so they don’t have time to retrieve them, they just have to make a run for it. The priest, running with his hands covering his genitals looks over at the rabbi and sees him running with his hands over his face. He says, “rabbi! What are you doing!” The rabbi says, “in *my* community, they recognise me by my face.”

Why did the Egyptian go swimming as soon as his mom passed away?
– De Nile is the first stage of grief

A blonde is in a swimming competition.
She comes in dead last in the 100m breast stroke. After she climbs out of the pool, she walks over to the referee.
“I don’t want to sound like a whiner,” she says, “but I think the other swimmers were using their arms.”

Why did the squirrel swim on it’s back?
– To keep his nuts dry

The diving instructor suddenly quit his job today. He realized deep down that it was not the career for him.

An orthodox priest, a catholic priest and a rabbi go for a swim.
It was a hot day and the three desperately needed to cool off. They went to the lake just outside the village, made sure no one else was around, and decided to skinny dip.

While they were splashing around, a group of women returning from the fields stopped for a quick break and noticed the three men. The water was shallow and clear, so one could see everything.

The orthodox priest and the catholic priest quickly covered their genitals, while the rabbi his face.

The women had a laugh, made a few snark remarks and left. ‘Why did you cover your face, Rabbi?’ The priests asked.

‘I don’t know how your communities work, but in mine, we recognize others by their faces!’

Where do ghosts like to go swimming?
– Lake Eerie!

The judges were swimpressed with my backstroke ability.

The shower salesmen never seem to make a sale to swimmers
– because the swimmers always wash up on shore.

I hope that when Kim Kardashian goes to the beach, she doesn’t swim.
– The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean.

An old joke
– The man was trying to learn swimming and one day was about to get drowned in the pool during practice; he was saved by one of those helping him at the last moment. As they got him out of the water, he looked at the others and said: “I will never get in water again until i learn swimming!”

Ps: this is an ancient greek joke from a 4th-century book of collection of jokes, so…

Why did the Egyptian go swimming as soon as his mom passed away?
– De Nile is the first stage of grief

A woman walked up to me at the swimming pool and said she could see something bulging in my Speedos.
When I looked down at my crotch she said, “No, the other side…”

How do you get 127 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
– You say “hey everyone it’s time to get out of the pool now”

The swimming pool on Titanic
– Is still full

Follow us on Facebook