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Stupid jokes in 2025

Why did the businessman invest in Smith & Wollensky?
-He wanted to stake his claim.

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.
-Do not read it.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
-Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
-“It’s not you, it’s a-me, Mario!”

What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos?
– A chipmunk!

What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?
-Its butt.

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
-“Oops!”

What streets to ghosts haunt?
– Dead ends!

What’s red and shaped like a bucket?
-A blue bucket painted red.

What do you call a door when it’s not a door?
– Ajar.

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
-“Graaaaaaaains!”

What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?
-Artificial Swedener.

What’s the award for being best dentist?
– A little plaque.

Why did the can crusher quit his job?
– Because it was soda pressing!

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
-“Supplies!”

There’s no hole in your shoe?
-Then how’d you get your foot in it?

What do you tell actors to break a leg?
– Because every play has a cast!

What don’t ants get sick?
-They have anty-bodies.

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