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Stupid jokes in 2025

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
-There would be mass confusion!

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
-Because it was too tired.

What kind of dogs love car racing?
-Lap dogs!

What do you call a fish with no eye?
– Fssshh.

Wait, you don’t want to hear a joke about potassium?
-K.

Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?
– He needed his space.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
– Bob.

What do you call a cow with two legs?
-Lean beef!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
– “Robin, get in the car.”

What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent?
– “Show me the honey!”

Why do you smear peanut butter on the road?
-To go with the traffic jam

How do you organize a space-themed hurrah?
-You planet.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.
– An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What do sprinters eat before a race?
-Nothing, they fast.

Do you remember that joke I told you about my spine?
-It was about a weak back!

I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
-But it’s only mild.

What did Blackbird say when he turned eighty?
-“Aye, matey.”

What do you call birds who stick together?
-Vel-crows

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