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Stupid jokes in 2025

What do you tell actors to break a leg?
– Because every play has a cast!

What don’t ants get sick?
-They have anty-bodies.

How many bugs do you need to rent out an apartment?
-Tenants.

My new thesaurus is terrible.
– Not only that, but it’s also terrible.

Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow?
-It’s making headlines.

What did the finger say to the thumb?
-I’m in glove with you.

Why are there gates around cemeteries?
-Because people are dying to get in!

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
-There would be mass confusion!

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
-Because it was too tired.

What kind of dogs love car racing?
-Lap dogs!

What do you call a fish with no eye?
– Fssshh.

Wait, you don’t want to hear a joke about potassium?
-K.

Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?
– He needed his space.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
– Bob.

What do you call a cow with two legs?
-Lean beef!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
– “Robin, get in the car.”

What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent?
– “Show me the honey!”

Why do you smear peanut butter on the road?
-To go with the traffic jam

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