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Stupid jokes in 2025

What do you call a hippie’s wife?
– A Mississippi!

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What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
– “Oh sheet!”

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Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
-Because Robin ate all the worms!

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What do you call a magician dog?
– A labracadabrador.

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Why don’t crabs donate?
-Because they’re shellfish.

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What do you call a man who can’t stand?
-Neil.

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What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick?
-Put it on my bill!

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I wasn’t going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict.
-So I’m going home for the hollandaise.

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What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?
-A polar bear!

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Who invented the round table?
-Sir Cumference.

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I just went to an emotional wedding.
– Even the cake was in tiers

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Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
-Because it’s pointless!

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How does your feline shop?
-By reading a catalogue.

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Today I gave my dead batteries away.
-They were free of charge.

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What’s green and has wheels?
-Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me?
-“Stay out of those places!”

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
-Roberto!

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Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
-They each got six months.

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