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Statistics jokes 📊 in 2025

Statistically speaking
– 9/11 Americans won’t appreciate this joke.

Statistics
Statistically:

– 5 people out of 6 are satisfied with the result of Russian roulette

– 0 out of 6 people complain about the result

Three statisticians go out hunting…
– and come across a large deer.
The first statistician fires, but misses by a meter to the left.
The second statistician fires, but also misses, this time by a meter to the right.
The third statistician doesn’t fire, but starts shouting in triumph “We got it! We got it!”

Statistician joke…
Why did a statistician take a zebra with him when he boarded a train?
– Because statistically, it’s a lot less likely to be a train accident with a Zebra inside it…

Why is statistics never anyone’s favorite subject?
– It’s just average.

Three statisticians are bow hunting in the woods and see a deer…
The first shoots his arrow and misses to the right by three feet.

The second shoots and misses three feet to the left.

The third throws up his arms and yells, “We got him!”

According to statistics, the highest suicide rate is found near piers.
– I think it’s because of pier pressure.

Statistically speaking, 6 out 10 statistics are wrong.
– Including this one.

statistics of birth control effectiveness
Condoms = 99%

birth control pills =99%

My tinder profile = 100%

Phone statistics in third world countries:
Phone statistics in third world countries:

Boy to Boy 00:00:59

Boy to Mom 00:00:50

Boy to Dad 00:00:30

Boy to Girl 01:23:59

Girl to Girl 05:29:59

Girl to Boy Missed call

Husband to Wife 00:00:03

Wife to Husband 14 Missed Calls

Statistical inference joke – why are two medians in a single data set funny?
– Because it’s a co-median ^_^

What’s different between stock market and statistics??
– Some people do get statistics

Thousands of people die every day. Thats just a statistic.
– But for some reason when i kill them it’s monstrosity instead

Statistically speaking, active people are less likely to be demonically possessed than sedentary people.
– This is one of the benefits of exorcising regularly.

Statistics show 65% of Baltimore men have had sex in the shower.
– The other 35% haven’t been to prison yet.

I tell all my dates I’m an open book.
– The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition.

There are many problems with math puns.
Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

I heard the latest statistic that 1 in 3 people cheat on their significant others
that means either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.

Hmm….

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