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Statistics jokes 📊 in 2025

According to statistics, the highest suicide rate is found near piers.
– I think it’s because of pier pressure.

Statistically speaking, 6 out 10 statistics are wrong.
– Including this one.

statistics of birth control effectiveness
Condoms = 99%

birth control pills =99%

My tinder profile = 100%

Phone statistics in third world countries:
Phone statistics in third world countries:

Boy to Boy 00:00:59

Boy to Mom 00:00:50

Boy to Dad 00:00:30

Boy to Girl 01:23:59

Girl to Girl 05:29:59

Girl to Boy Missed call

Husband to Wife 00:00:03

Wife to Husband 14 Missed Calls

Statistical inference joke – why are two medians in a single data set funny?
– Because it’s a co-median ^_^

What’s different between stock market and statistics??
– Some people do get statistics

Thousands of people die every day. Thats just a statistic.
– But for some reason when i kill them it’s monstrosity instead

Statistically speaking, active people are less likely to be demonically possessed than sedentary people.
– This is one of the benefits of exorcising regularly.

Statistics show 65% of Baltimore men have had sex in the shower.
– The other 35% haven’t been to prison yet.

I tell all my dates I’m an open book.
– The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition.

There are many problems with math puns.
Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

I heard the latest statistic that 1 in 3 people cheat on their significant others
that means either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.

Hmm….

Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.
– I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend

I don’t understand statistics like mean, mode and median
– Is that normal?

Statistically speaking, the data I have collected indicates my dad jokes are quite funny…
– I guess you can call it dada science…

Two Statistics majors walk into a bar
– What’re the chances!

Three statisticians go out hunting together…
– After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and ends up shooting too far to the left of the rabbit. The second aims, misses, and shoots too far to the right. The third shouts out “We got him!”

69% of all statistics are made up
– Every 69 I’ve ever been involved in was made up

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