Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Statistics jokes 📊 in 2025

Two statisticians walk into a bar…
– What are the chances of that?

Statistically,
– 6 out of 7 Dwarfs aren’t Happy.

I was shocked to read this. Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves
– aren’t Happy

Statistics are like bikinis.
What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.

The Department of Unfinished Statistics concluded…
… that 7 out of 10.

Two statisticians are out hunting…
– Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing pass 6in too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past 6in too low. The two statisticians then give one another high fives and exclaim “Got him!”

A Statistician is playing darts
– The first dart veers wildly to the left. The second dart veers wildly to the right. The statistician exclaims, “bullseye!”

Which politician is the biggest supporter of statistical sciences?
– Putin. He really loves the Poisson distribution

Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman…
… what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital.

I looked up car crash statistics online
– The results were very impacting

Statistically speaking…
6/7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

In class, my statistics teacher said, “The lottery is a tax on fools who can’t do math.”
I shrugged and said, “Hell, anybody can win the lottery.”

My statistics teacher smirked, folded his arms and asked, “Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?”

I said, “Yep. 100%. A person always wins.”

Govt. Statistics show that 35% of all school kids fall victim to online bullying and this can only mean 1 thing
– 65% of my emails aren’t going out

Frightening Statistic
This is probably one of the most worrisome statistics to emerge in recent years.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That’s scary.

It means 75% are running around untreated.

Statistically, older people are the most common carriers of AIDS…
– Hearing Aids, Walking Aids, Seeing Aids…

Statistically speaking, active people are less likely to be demonically possessed than sedentary people.
– This is one of the benefits of exorcising regularly

Statistics are like a mini skirt
– They promise a lot but show nothing

Statistics show that most Canadians are nosey.
– They do, however, say “zed”.

Follow us on Facebook