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Statistics jokes 📊 in 2025

Why is studying statistics hard to do in Afghanistan?
– because of the tally-ban

Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness,
Which means 40% aren’t taking their medication

A statistician walks up to a girl in the bar
**Guy**: You’re the most average girl out here.

**Girl**: Hey, you’re mean!

**Guy**: No, you are

I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trigonometry, I’ll even do statistics.
– But graphing is where I draw the line!

Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness,
– Which means 40% aren’t taking their medication.

I’ve spent today analysing some statistics about how drunk people walk.
– They’re just staggering.

Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman:
– What it shows is interesting, but what it doesn’t show is the most important part.

I regret having called my statistics professor an average person.
– I really didn’t mean it.

Statistics show that 47% of people are pedantic.
– Well, 46.8%.

Statistics show that the average person has sex 89 times a year
– Today’s going to be great!

According to statistics, a man is ran over every 5 minutes in a city.
– I wonder how is he still alive.

Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating…..
– I just need to figure out if it’s my wife or girlfriend

I’m not always mean, sometimes I’m median. Really depends on my mode.
– Statistically my range of jokes are never appreciated.

Statistics humour
The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, “Where’s your other friend”. The median says, “We don’t like him anymore. He’s mean.”

Statistics say that the typical man has sex 92 times a year…
– I feel that December will be amazing

Statistically, 1 out of 10 friends is gay.
– I hope its Steve, he’s really cute

My Dad told me that if anyone ever pulled a gun on me I should start reeling off statistics
– Apparently there’s safety in numbers

I just read a statistic on the most common way a person walks when they have been drinking.
– It’s staggering.

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