Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Statistics jokes 📊 in 2025

According to statistics one in three people live next to a paedophile
– Thankfully I just live next to some really hot 11 year olds

According to statistics, 80% of all fatal plane crashes happen in the first 3 or last 8 minutes of the flight.
– But according to even more precise statistics, 100% of all fatal plane crashes happen within the last 0.1 seconds of the fight.

I just got married and I am scared of the statistics..
I’m not sure if I should be more worried about that 40-50% of marriages end in divorce or that 50-60% of all marriages last..

Jk honey, I love you. ^^^^^help

When a statistician passes the airport security check…
When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. “Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer…”

Statistically, there should be one gay student per 30 student classroom.
– I don’t remember having any gay classmates, though. Weird…

If you’re ever losing an argument, randomly quote a statistic
– People will believe you 80% of the time.

Statistical inference joke – why are two medians in a single data set funny?
– Because it’s a co-median ^_^

Math puns are boring
– Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

Statistics are like bikinis….
– What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital

A statistics major drops out of college and joins the army
– During marksmanship training his first shot flys a meter above the target, his spotter tells him “miss. one meter high, aim lower”

His second shot lands really low below the target. His spotter says to him “Miss. One meter low”

“Oh so I hit it?” Says the statistician.

I came up with a really great statistics joke, but no statistician wanted to hear it.
– So I asked them why and they told me, statistically speaking, most of what you say is boring.

In statistics, a larger sample size results in more reliable averages.
– The Ns justify the means.

Indian men are statistically the least likely to get laid
– No wonder even their parents call them beta.

Statistics say that 1/3 of people cheat in their relationships
Which got me thinking,
Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?

I didn’t think I’d ever be turned on by population statistics…
– But then I came to my census

Statistics show more people are killed by bees than snakes.
– Politicians just have better lawyers.

A statistician and his wife are going I vacation.
As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.
“Good god, what’s that for?” His wife asks.
“Well, there’s low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?”

Statistics show that vegetarians live on average ten years longer than meat eaters
Ten long miserable years

Follow us on Facebook