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Statistics jokes 📊 in 2025
Statistics are integrated and involved in almost every area of life in one way or another. With this involvement there is sure to be those who don’t like dealing with them, people who love the math and the expectations that statistics provide, and others will most enjoy the statistics jokes that come from working with them.
According to statistics one in three people live next to a paedophile
– Thankfully I just live next to some really hot 11 year olds
I regret having called my statistics professor an average person.
– I really didn’t mean it.
Statistics show that 47% of people are pedantic.
– Well, 46.8%.
Statistics show that the average person has sex 89 times a year
– Today’s going to be great!
According to statistics, a man is ran over every 5 minutes in a city.
– I wonder how is he still alive.
Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating…..
– I just need to figure out if it’s my wife or girlfriend
I’m not always mean, sometimes I’m median. Really depends on my mode.
– Statistically my range of jokes are never appreciated.
Statistics humour
The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, “Where’s your other friend”. The median says, “We don’t like him anymore. He’s mean.”
Statistics say that the typical man has sex 92 times a year…
– I feel that December will be amazing
Statistically, 1 out of 10 friends is gay.
– I hope its Steve, he’s really cute
My Dad told me that if anyone ever pulled a gun on me I should start reeling off statistics
– Apparently there’s safety in numbers
I just read a statistic on the most common way a person walks when they have been drinking.
– It’s staggering.
Statistics and mini skirts..
…they hide more than what they reveal.
Three statisticians go hunting
They spot a bird, and take turns trying to shoot it.
The first statistician shoots 10 feet above the bird
The second statistician shoots 10 feet below the bird
The third statistician shouts “We got it!”
My grandpa always told me that statistics are like skirts
– They show some stuff that you are interested in but not the actual thing
“It was recently proven that 80% of people will believe any statistic they read online.”
-Abraham Lincoln
Three statisticians are hunting when they see a rabbit.
– The first one shoots and misses him on the left.
The second shoots and misses him on the right.
The third one shouts, “We’ve hit it!”
I asked my German friend to draw me a circular statistical diagram.
“Venn?” he asked.
“As soon as you can.”
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Who Uses Statistics?
Many jobs use statistics to create formulas and to make plans for how to manage certain occurrences. They are used for planning ahead, making business decisions, and learning about how the world is functioning. Insurance jokes are often tied in with top statistics jokes as they are interconnected in many ways. When pricing out insurance policies of any type they use local statistics for the likelihood that there will be a claim, as well as how much that claim is likely to cost. The higher the amount that they expect to pay out, the higher the cost of the insurance policy will be. Silly statistics jokes can be one of the ways in which the topic is lightened and there is less worry and stress around them, as well as one liner statistics jokes that are used to explain how they affect things.Outside of the insurance industry, statistics are also used in banking, financing, and when governments are dividing up the money for the year and deciding where it is most needed. Cheesy statistics jokes are certain to be at play during this time of year, both while they are gathering the latest numbers and while they are deciding what that means for the financial situations. Clean statistics jokes are key to managing stress when there are so many numbers to be calculated, and hilarious statistics jokes can be heard during census taking and planning roads and infrastructure.
Math teachers will use cute statistics jokes when they are introducing the topic and even during reviews for tests or when teaching new methods of calculations. They are a hard topic for many and can be a complicated math concerns, which leads to there being more math jokes, corny statistics jokes, and even teacher jokes.
Why Are Statistics Jokes Funny?
Often some of the funniest statistics jokes are funny in the way that they use puns and play on words. They are certainly math based but they address many different areas of life. This is how people can predict weather and school populations, how students can determine a grading curve and what grade they need, nature jokes can address how many birds and animals will migrate this year or where they go. Short statistics joke can be funny in how they address how deeply ingrained into life they are, as well as dating jokes about how statistically more people meet online, or the changes of meeting someone new at the grocery store. Their exaggerated use has been included on several funny television shows as characters use them for every choice or decision, and in some cases rather than sort out life choices leave them to a roll off the dice.The best statistics jokes about gambling and playing the lottery are funny in that they point out a fact that is true, but it is only true because so many people continue to gamble even with low chances of big wins. While some make their living playing cards for money or gambling in other ways, these are certainly the minority and there are several who lose money doing the same things, each person becoming a statistic themselves. The irony of how people end up as a statistic in the end is perhaps one of the grimmer jokes, but humor often helps to deal with worry and fear as well.