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Squirrel Jokes 🐿️ in 2025

Why did the bank manager ask the police to help him catch a squirrel?
-Because the squirrel was suspected of foraging cheques

Some lady called the cops on me because I was giving a squirrel a nut in the park.
-Good thing I got my pants back on before they arrived

What did the father squirrel tell his family?
-Acorn-y joke.

What did the squirrel say when he had to choose between staying still or jumping down?
-I’m really on the fence about this one

Why are so many squirrels rich?
– Because they are good at squirrellin away their money.

Why did the squirrel swim on its back.
– To keep its nuts dry

Why did the squirrel bury the tuna?
-Because if you spell it backwards, it’s a nut.

What did the first squirrel say when the second squirrel put twigs in the frying pan?
– What on earth are you doing? This is a non-stick pan!

Food is getting so scarce, I just followed a squirrel so I could steal his nuts.
-It was a lot of work for two small pieces of meat.

What did the squirrel wear on her feet?
– Cashews.

How do you catch a squirrel?
– A.Act like a nut

Squirrels don’t have children….
– They ALWAYS swallow the nut.

What did the romantic squirrel give to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
-Forget-me-nuts.

One time there was a squirrel who died
-It was funny because the squirrel got dead.

What do blind squirrels and testicular cancer patients have in common?
-They can’t find their nuts

I was chasing a squirrel in my back yard. The squirrel ran up a tree.
– My car was totaled.

What do you call a squirrel who is in charge of a bank?
– A branch manager.

What do you get when you cross a spider and a squirrel?
-A bug that will climb your leg and eat your nuts

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