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Squirrel Jokes 🐿️ in 2025

How do you catch an English Squirrel?
-Climb a tree and act like nutty.

How large is a squirrels home?
-Approximately 4 squirrel feet

Two cows are talking in the barn
-Cow A: Yo, what do you think about the “mad cow” disease?”

Cow B: The f*ck do I care, I’m a squirrel.

What do you call a squirrel that solves crimes?
-Squirrel-lock Holmes.

A joke my 9 yr old told at a BBQ we had over the weekend. He brought down the house.
-Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry!

Why did the squirrel bury the tin of fish?
– Because tuna spelt backwards is “a nut”.

What do squirrels eat?
-Nuts 🥜

What does a squirrel and a cigarette have in common?
-They’re both safe until you light them on fire and put them in your mouth.

What did the squirrel say to the psychologist?
– I think I’m nuts.

Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans?
-Because their nuts won’t fit

What do you call a squirrel in a church?
-A chipmunk!

What does the squirrel do on his computer late at night?
– He nuts.

What do you call a squirrel that goes to space?
-An astro-nut

Cigarettes are like squirrels.
-Theyre perfectly harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Why don’t squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.

Why didn’t the squirrel wanna go swimming because
-he didnt wanna get his nuts wet

What’s a squirrels favorite way to watch TV?
-Nut-flix!

A joke my 8 y/o daughter made up this morning. Thought it was pretty good!

What did the squirrel say the time she managed to accidentally catch her tail in the door?
– It won’t be long now.

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