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Sports Jokes ⚽🥊⛷️ in 2025

Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?
– They needed a little team spirit.

What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
– The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

England are playing Iceland tomorrow. If they win that game, they’ll play Tesco’s next Saturday and then Asda on Wednesday.

Which team always start the match with a bang?
– The Gunners!

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?
– One steals watches and one watches steals.

Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?
– She ran away from the ball.

What does a hockey play and a magician have in common?
– They both do hat tricks.

Why can’t you play soccer in the jungle?
– There are too many cheetahs!

Who scored the most goals in the Greek Mythology League?
– The centaur forward!

Where do you keep your mitt while driving?
– In the glove compartment.

How many Chicago Bears does it take to win a Super Bowl?
– One. Walter Payton. But he’s retired.

Why are hockey players so good at making friends?
– They’re quick to break the ice.

Why did the basketball player go to jail?
– Because he shot the ball.

What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
– The scenter spot!

Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
– The one with the biggest head.

What happens when a dinosaur gets a goal?
– A dino-score.

Which football team loves ice-cream?
– Aston Vanilla!

What runs along the edge of the pitch but never moves?
– The sideline!

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