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Sports Jokes ⚽🥊⛷️ in 2025

Why is a football crowd learning to sing like a person opening a tin of sardines?
– They both have trouble with the key!

My computer’s got the ‘Bad-Goalie Virus’. It can’t save anything.

Why is it so hot at a Phillies game?
– Because they don’t have many fans.

Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?
– He was afraid of the net.

What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game?
– The Zam-bony.

What position do ghosts play in soccer?
– Ghoulie.

Three hours of football and the goalkeeper is still England’s top scorer…

What has 18 legs and catches flies?
– A baseball team.

What do you get when you cross a running back and the Invisible Man?
– Scoring like no one has ever seen.

Why didn’t Jesus play hockey?
– Because soccer and baseball are much more popular in Mexico.

Why did the refs stop play in the Washington Capitals game?
– Kuznetsov.

What tea do footballers drink?
– Penal-tea!

If a basketball player gets athlete’s foot, what’s an astronaut get?
– Missile Toe!

Why couldn’t the defensive end pass any of his tests?
– He was a tackling dummy.

Why are soccer players excellent at math?
– They know how to use their heads.

How did the football pitch end up as triangle?
– Somebody took a corner!

Did you hear? Detroit is building a new stadium at an undisclosed location.
– They’re keeping it a secret because they’re afraid the Tigers might find out and try to play there.

What’s the difference between Kobe Bryant and time?
– Time actually passes.

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