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Sports Jokes ⚽🥊⛷️ in 2025

Why doesn’t the basketball team have a website?
– They can’t string together three Ws.

Where do football players go when they need new uniforms?
– New Jersey.

What’s a ghost’s favorite soccer position?
– Ghoul keeper.

What’s the difference between The Invisible Man and [insert team name]?
– You’ve got more chance of seeing The Invisible Man at the World Cup Finals!

What’s the best position to play if you don’t like football?
– Right back – right back in the changing rooms…

Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be?
– It’s full of fans.

What do you call a basketball-playing shark?
– Sharq.

Why do hipsters love field hockey?
– Because it’s ice hockey before it gets cool.

Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
– He was tired of being kicked around.

What did the referee say to the South American footballer in the World Cup who lied about handling the ball?
– I don’t Bolivia!

What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?
– One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

Why do football players like smart women?
– Opposites attract.

How many teeth does a hockey player have?
– Don’t you mean tooth?

Putin scored eight goals in the exhibition game due to his being an excellent slap shot.
– If you don’t let him score, he slaps and then shoots you.

I was playing Football Manager on my PC when I was offered the [insert team here] job. I knew it was a poor squad with no future, so I declined the offer. I then put the telephone down and returned to Football Manager.

What do prison guards, and basketball guards have in common?
– They’re both supposed to protect you.

What’s harder to catch the faster you run?
– Your breath.

Which soccer player keeps the field nice and tidy?
– The sweeper.

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