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Sports Jokes ⚽🥊⛷️ in 2025

How do football players stay cool during a game?
– They stand near the fans!

What are the rules for zebra baseball?
– Three stripes and you’re out.

Why did the football coach go to the bank?
– To get his quarter back.

Why do the Germans always get beat by the Canadians in hockey?
– Canadians bring the “eh” game, while Germans bring their wurst.

I’ve got a great idea for a NBA themed fast-food restaurant.
– Shake-Shaq.

As the team’s struggles continued, a pound coin was thrown onto the pitch. Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.

Why are basketball players such messy eaters?
– They’re always dribbling.

What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute then sits down and starts crying the next?
– A football coach.

Soccer is surprisingly relevant to my life.
– Just consider the lack of goals.

I left two [insert team] tickets on my dashboard yesterday. Someone smashed the window and left two more.

Which soccer team has nailed their formation?
– The Hammers.

A man leaves home, makes three left turns, and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him.
– They’re the catcher and umpire.

What does a basketball player do once he loses his sight?
– Become a referee.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
– “Oh, I really liked it,” he replied, “especially the uniforms and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Two soccer teams play a game against each other. The home team wins, but not a single man from either team scored a goal. How can this be?
– They were women’s teams.

What is a ghost’s favourite football position?
– Ghoulkeeper!

What do you call a [insert team here] player in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee!

I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger.
– Then it hit me.

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