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Sports Jokes ⚽🥊⛷️ in 2025

Which soccer player wears the biggest cleats?
– The one with the biggest feet.

My partner just split up with me because they think I’m obsessed with football. I’m a bit gutted about it – we’d been going out for three seasons.

Why are baseball games at night?
– The bats sleep during the day.

What kind of tea do football players drink?
– Penaltea.

How do hockey players kiss?
– They pucker up.

I watched hockey before it was cool.
– It was swimming. I watched swimming.

What does a [insert team here] fan do after watching their team win the Premier League?
– Turn off the PlayStation!

Why doesn’t the basketball team have a website?
– They can’t string together three Ws.

Where do football players go when they need new uniforms?
– New Jersey.

What’s a ghost’s favorite soccer position?
– Ghoul keeper.

What’s the difference between The Invisible Man and [insert team name]?
– You’ve got more chance of seeing The Invisible Man at the World Cup Finals!

What’s the best position to play if you don’t like football?
– Right back – right back in the changing rooms…

Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be?
– It’s full of fans.

What do you call a basketball-playing shark?
– Sharq.

Why do hipsters love field hockey?
– Because it’s ice hockey before it gets cool.

Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
– He was tired of being kicked around.

What did the referee say to the South American footballer in the World Cup who lied about handling the ball?
– I don’t Bolivia!

What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?
– One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

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