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Sports Jokes ⚽🥊⛷️ in 2025

Why are basketball players such messy eaters?
– They’re always dribbling.

What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute then sits down and starts crying the next?
– A football coach.

Soccer is surprisingly relevant to my life.
– Just consider the lack of goals.

I left two [insert team] tickets on my dashboard yesterday. Someone smashed the window and left two more.

Which soccer team has nailed their formation?
– The Hammers.

A man leaves home, makes three left turns, and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him.
– They’re the catcher and umpire.

What does a basketball player do once he loses his sight?
– Become a referee.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
– “Oh, I really liked it,” he replied, “especially the uniforms and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Two soccer teams play a game against each other. The home team wins, but not a single man from either team scored a goal. How can this be?
– They were women’s teams.

What is a ghost’s favourite football position?
– Ghoulkeeper!

What do you call a [insert team here] player in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee!

I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger.
– Then it hit me.

What do you call a Cleveland Browns QB at the Super Bowl?
– A spectator.

What do you give a hockey player when he demands to be paid?
– A check.

Why was the basketball court wet?
– Because people were dribbling on it!

What ship holds 20 football teams but only three leave it each season?
– The Premier-ship!

Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
– They aren’t allowed to travel.

How do you spot a Tennessee fan at a wedding?
– Look for the guy in the orange t-shirt.

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