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Spiderman Jokes 🕷️ in 2025

Why did Spider-Man get an accountant?
-To calculate his net income.

So when Spiderman produces a white sticky substance it’s “cool”
-Why is it whenever I produce a white sticky substance I’m considered a “massive pervert”?

What do you get when you cross Spiderman with an ear of corn?
-Cobwebs.

I’ve nicknamed my grandad Spiderman.
– He doesn’t have any superpowers, he just can’t climb out of the bath.

I’m waiting for Spider-Man to call round.
-He said he’s swing by soon.

What does Peter Parker call a Spiderman made of building blocks?
-His alter-lego.

What would you call Spiderman if he was Dinosaur man instead?
-Jurassic Parker

Which ankle did Spider-Man twist after tripping on the curb?
-Ankle Ben.

What is the one thing Spiderman can’t eat?
-Uncle Bens rice.

What is Spiderman’s favourite type of music?
– Swing.

Spiderman (Toby Maguire) wasn’t funny a bit.
-He was always terrible at delivery.

What do you get when you cross Spiderman with a boy who never grows up?
– Peter Pan.

Spiderman gets a job in the CIA. What does the officer tell him?
-Spy-there-man

Why doesn’t Spider Man like to talk to Bruce Wayne?
-Because he has bat breath.

I went to Spider-Man’s wedding.
-It was lovely to see the newly webs.

How is Spider-Man like a toy top?
-He’s always spinning.

Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer?
-Because they heard he’s a web developer

What is Spider-Man’s favourite food?
– French flies.

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