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Soccer Jokes ⚽ in 2025

Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
-It was tired of being kicked around.

What does a soccer player say on Halloween?
-Hat Trick or Treat!

Why couldn’t the star soccer player listen to music?
– Because he broke all the records.

What time is it when a soccer team chases a baseball team?
-Eleven after nine.

What’s the difference between a soccer referee and a politician?
-Just his funny bone.

What did the mummy soccer coach say at the end of practice?
-Let’s wrap this up!

One of my friends who plays soccer almost had to play on some ground with mounds of dirt.
-They had to level the playing field.

Why did the soccer ball say ow?
-Because the man kicked him.

What is soccer?
– It has been described as a game with 22 players, two linesmen, and 20,000 referees.

What do you call a Greek philosopher who’s skilled on the pitch?
-Soccerates.

Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?
-The one with the biggest feet.

Why does the soccer ball curse so much?
– Because he gets a kick out of it.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
-Les.
Les who?
Les go and play soccer!

How do birds cheer for their soccer teams?
-They egg them on.

What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
-A soccer coach.

What’s the difference between the England soccer team and a tea-bag?
-The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

What kind of soccer team cries when it loses?
-A bawl (ball) club.

What happens to soccer players who go blind?
– They become referees.

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