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Soccer Jokes ⚽ in 2025

What’s the difference between a bad soccer team and an albatross?
– An albatross has got two decent wings.

Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
-Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

I used to be the worst player on my football team, but then I moved to America.
-Now I’m the worst player on my soccer team.

What lights up a soccer stadium?
– A soccer match

What soccer club do sheep’s like?
-Baaaaaaaaa-rcelona.

I passed by the prison today and they were playing soccer on the field
-I shouted “Pass the ball, I’m free!!”

Why was the soccer field wet on a sunny day?
-The players dribbled all over it.

Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball?
– The defense cleared it.

What do you get if you cross a soccer player and a mythical puppet?
-A centaur forward.

Last weekend I went to see my girlfriend’s soccer match, and she did this awesome save.
-She’s definitely a keeper!

I started watching soccer because it’s very relevant to my life.
-Little to no goals.

Why shouldn’t you play soccer in the jungle?
-There are too many cheetahs!

Why did the soccer player kick the grass?
-Because it was being a pitch.

How did the soccer pitch end up as triangle?
– Somebody took a corner!

Where’s the best place to shop for a soccer uniform?
-New Jersey.

Why couldn’t the soccer team lose a goal?
– They always had a goal keeper.

I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
-What a Messi guy.

What would you get if you crossed a soccer player and the Invisible Man?
-He would play soccer like no one has ever seen.

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