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Soccer Jokes ⚽ in 2025

What do you get if you cross a soccer player and a mythical puppet?
-A centaur forward.

Last weekend I went to see my girlfriend’s soccer match, and she did this awesome save.
-She’s definitely a keeper!

I started watching soccer because it’s very relevant to my life.
-Little to no goals.

Why shouldn’t you play soccer in the jungle?
-There are too many cheetahs!

Why did the soccer player kick the grass?
-Because it was being a pitch.

How did the soccer pitch end up as triangle?
– Somebody took a corner!

Where’s the best place to shop for a soccer uniform?
-New Jersey.

Why couldn’t the soccer team lose a goal?
– They always had a goal keeper.

I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
-What a Messi guy.

What would you get if you crossed a soccer player and the Invisible Man?
-He would play soccer like no one has ever seen.

Why are soccer players so artistic?
– Because every game ends in a draw.

My kids soccer championship was canceled due to rain and sleet.
-So every player got a precipitation trophy.

Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
-It was tired of being kicked around.

What does a soccer player say on Halloween?
-Hat Trick or Treat!

Why couldn’t the star soccer player listen to music?
– Because he broke all the records.

What time is it when a soccer team chases a baseball team?
-Eleven after nine.

What’s the difference between a soccer referee and a politician?
-Just his funny bone.

What did the mummy soccer coach say at the end of practice?
-Let’s wrap this up!

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