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Soccer Jokes ⚽ in 2025

What kind of soccer team cries when it loses?
-A bawl (ball) club.

What happens to soccer players who go blind?
– They become referees.

Two flies are playing soccer on a plate.
-One says to the other, “You’d better pick up your game, Louie. We’re playing in the cup tomorrow.”

What position do ghosts play in soccer?
-Ghoulie.

What part of a soccer pitch smells nicest?
-The “scenter” spot.

Why did the soccer player hold his boot to his ear?
– Because he enjoyed sole music.

Why did the chicken get ejected from the soccer game?
-For persistent fowl play.

Why can’t you play soccer with pigs?
-They hog the ball.

How many Manchester City soccer fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
-None — they’re quite happy living in the shadows.

Why do so many Americans play soccer?
-So they don’t have to watch it on TV.

Why are swimmers good at soccer?
-Because they dive a lot.

Why do moms all over the world hate the best player in soccer?
-Because he is Messi.

Where do soccer players go to dance?
-The Futball.

Did you hear about the soccer player who lived passed a 100?
-He’s still alive and kicking.

You would think with an entire soccer team stuck in a cave….
– One of them would have known how to dive

Why didn’t the dog want to play soccer?
-He was a boxer

Why are scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team?
-Because they’ve both been beaten.

Life is like soccer
-My mom signed me up for it even though I hate it

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