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Soccer Jokes ⚽ in 2025

Knock, knock?
Who’s there?
-August.
August Who?
A gusta go back to soccer practice!

Disney just announced a new show for D+ about a time-traveling soccer mom
-It’s called The Vandalorian

Heard someone say they had to play soccer with 2nd graders.
-They should really invest in a ball…

Why is a bad soccer team like an old bra?
-It has no cups and very little support.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
-Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda buy a new soccer ball?

Playing Soccer is addictve and I wanna stop,
-but I can’t seem to kick the habit.

What runs around a soccer field but never moves?
– A fence.

Why did the defensive soccer player cross the road?
-To get to the other slide.

When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on.
-They just need to bring on their subs.

When is a soccer player like a judge?
-When he sits on the bench.

What’s the difference between a bad soccer team and an albatross?
– An albatross has got two decent wings.

Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
-Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

I used to be the worst player on my football team, but then I moved to America.
-Now I’m the worst player on my soccer team.

What lights up a soccer stadium?
– A soccer match

What soccer club do sheep’s like?
-Baaaaaaaaa-rcelona.

I passed by the prison today and they were playing soccer on the field
-I shouted “Pass the ball, I’m free!!”

Why was the soccer field wet on a sunny day?
-The players dribbled all over it.

Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball?
– The defense cleared it.

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