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Soccer Jokes ⚽ in 2024

Why do soccer players do so well in school?
-They know how to use their heads.

What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
-COOOOOOOALL!

Which soccer player keeps the field neat?
-The sweeper.

Which bar downtown do soccer players hate striking on?
-Crossbar.

What is the difference between a bad soccer team and the Bermuda Triangle?
– The Bermuda Triangle has three points.

What is a ghost’s favorite soccer position?
-Ghoul keeper.

What do you get when you cross a soccer goalie and the Invisible Man?
-Goal tending like no one has ever seen.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
– Because she ran away from the ball!

Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?
-They watch cricket instead.

How do you stop squirrels from playing football in the garden?
-Hide the ball, it drives them nuts.

Why didn’t the lousy soccer team have a website?
-They couldn’t string three W’s together.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
-Soccer.
Soccer who?
Socc-ser in the drawer.

Why did the soccer player bring string to her game?
– So she could tie the score.

You are locked inside a car with nothing but a soccer ball. How do you get out?
-Unlock the door and pull the handle.

I saw so many people arguing about if it’s called football or soccer, I thought calling it a new way…
-Fooccer

Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team.
– But, compared to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.

Knock, knock?
Who’s there?
-August.
August Who?
A gusta go back to soccer practice!

Disney just announced a new show for D+ about a time-traveling soccer mom
-It’s called The Vandalorian

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