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Snake jokes 🐍 in 2025

How do snakes avoid making babies?
– Using an Anacondom.

What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
– A Boeing constrictor.

What do you call a skeleton snake?
– A rattler!

What do snakes do when they get angry?
– They throw hissy fits.

I told my friend about how I caught a huge snake. He asked me how big it was and I said, have you seen the movie anaconda?
– It was about the size of the Anaconda’s DVD box.

What do you call a party where snakes choose china?
– A reptile dish function.

Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
– Because they had a crush on each other.

What do you call a funny snake?
– Hissssssterical.

I got mugged by a cobra once when I was walking through the park.
– I wouldn’t recognize it again, though. It was wearing a hood.

A drum set and a snake falls off a cliff.
– The drummer and pet shop owner are very sad now.

How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
– In cold blood.

What do you call a snake that builds things?
– A boa constructor

What type of snake does a baby like to play with?
– A rattlesnake.

A snake walks into a bar.
– The bartender says “How the hell did you do that?”

I used to be jealous of Harry Potter for being able to talk to snakes.
– But it turns out, I’ve been doing it for years.

What did the snake give to his wife?
– A goodnight hiss.

why doesnt voldemort have a human nose?
– because his snake bit it of

What kind of snake is best at Rap?
– The Spittin’ Cobra

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