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Snake jokes 🐍 in 2025

What Snakes are best at dancing?
– Rattlesnakes, they like a Rhumba.

Why can’t you trust snakes?
– They speak with forked tongues.

What is another word for a python?
– A mega-bite.

Why is weighing snakes so easy?
– Because they come with their own scales.

What does a cool snake say?
– In the hiss house!

How does a snake shoot something?
– With a boa and arrow.

What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
– Addercadabra and abradacobra.

A jellyfish, a snake, and a snail walk into a bar.
– The jellyfish says, “This is impossible.”

What do you call it when a man’s pet snake gets sick?
– A reptile dysfunction

What do you call a snake who works for the government?
– A civil serpent.

What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
– Snaked.

What do you call a snake who works for the government?
– A civil serpent.

What kind of car does a snake drive?
– An ana-honda.

How do you measure a snake?
– In inches since they dont have any feet

What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
– “Hiss,” and “Herss.”

What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
– Wait until he’s finished.

What do you call an important English snake?
– Sir Pent.

A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff…
– Baa dum ssss

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