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Snake jokes 🐍 in 2025

Why can’t a snake rob a bank?
– Because they are unarmed.

Why do snakes always measure in inches?
– Because they don’t have any feet

What is a snake’s favorite school subject?
– Hisstory.

What is a snake’s favorite school subject?
– Hisstory.
I came up with that in a dream last night, hope it’s OC.

What is a snake’s favorite dance?
– The Mamba.

What did the Mommy snake say to the Baby snake?
– “Please stop crying and viper your nose.”

Why are snakes hard to fool?
– They have no legs to pull.

A snake walks into a bar.
– The bartender says, “How did you do that?”

What did the snake give her boyfriend?
– A goodnight hiss.

What do you call a snake without any clothes on?
– Snake-ed.

I never understood why people are so scared of snakes
– They’re completely armless

What do you call an important English snake?
– Sir Pent.

What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
– Monty Python.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a snake?
– A jump rope.

A group of cows is called a herd; what do you call a group of snakes?
– A tangle.

A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
– Looks like the boa cons tricked her.

What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
– A bouncing baby boa.

Which snake is a member of a rock band?
– A rattlesnake.

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