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Sloth jokes 🦥 in 2025

A sloth walks into a bar and says
– I’ll have… a coke.
– The Bartender says
– Hey, why the long paws?

What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
– Slothy seconds.

The slot machines were so slow that the casino-goers called them sloth machines.

Why did the sloth cross the road?
– Nobody knows, he’s still trying.

The kindest word to describe my performance in school was Sloth.

What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ?
– Sir!

Why do sloths seem so slow?
– Because every movement takes fur-ever!

What do you call intelligent sloths?
– Slo-mo sapien.

A sloth goes to a bar to get drunk.
– After a long time and a lot of drinks the bartender asks the sloth why he is there.
– The sloth replies, “I’m depressed, my wife is leaving me. I bet she’s already halfway through the kitchen.”

What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band?
– Slow Patrol.

What happens when you cross a sloth with a cat?
– You get a slow leopard.

What did the sloth say after a bunch of snails mugged him?
– “It all happened so fast!”

Why is the sloth trying to cross the road?
– Becau- *SPLAT*

What is a three toed sloth’s favorite kind of chip?
– Fritos.

Sloths are always listening to slow music. You can find their playlists on Slothify.

When the cops asked him what happened the sloth said,
– It. all. happened. so. fast.

Avoid sloth, the mother of all vices!

What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth?
– A slow leopard.

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