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Sloth jokes 🦥 in 2025

What did the sloth wear to the swimming pool?
– His speedo

What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle?
– A slow-off (show off).

When should you apologize to a sloth?
– Later… much later.

A sloth goes to a bar to get drunk.
– After a long time and a lot of drinks, the bartender asks the sloth why he is there.
– The sloth replies, “I’m depressed, my wife is leaving me. I bet she’s already halfway through the kitchen.”

They say fast food is bad for you…
– so I ate a sloth.

How did the sloth become President of the tree?
– He slept his way to the top.

What do you call an aristocratic sloth?
– Slowphisticated.

I watched a GIF of a sloth for five minutes yesterday until I realized it was just an image.

How does a sloth hang itself?
– By trying to jump rope.

What do sloths make in the snow?
– Slow angels.

Guess what my favorite animal is?
– It’s a sloth… and I like you slooow much!

When does a sloth go “moo”?
– When it is learning a new language!

A sloth tells his wife, “I’m gonna stop by the neighbors house.”
– “I’ll see you in three months.”

Why didn’t the bed of sloths (group of sloths) go extinct? That one’s easy. It’s because they didn’t plan on going anywhere!

One sloth turned and said to the other, “I used to dislike moss…”
– “But now I think it’s growing on me.”

Nothing irritates me more than chronic laziness in others. Mind you, it’s only mental sloth I object to. Physical sloth can be heavenly.

What did the grape say when the sloth stood on it?
– Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

What do sloths read in the morning?
– Snooze-papers.

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