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Sleep jokes 💤🛌 in 2025

Do you know why bicycles can’t stand on their own?
– Because they are tired.

What do you call it when your feet fall asleep and wouldn’t wake up?
– Coma-toes.

What happens when you don’t know whether you have insomnia or amnesia?
– You lose sleep trying to remember which one you have.

What do you call a person who snores a lot?
– A sound sleeper.

When is the perfect time for the cattle to go to sleep?
– Pasture bedtime.

A good-natured conspiracy theorist wakes up and realizes that he’s died in his sleep and gone to heaven…God appears and says “welcome my son, as a reward for your virtuous life, I can answer one question for you about any topic you’d like with absolute certainty…”
The man thinks for a second and asks God “who actually killed JFK?”

God’s eyes roll back in to his head for a minute while he scours the divine historical record. After a moment, he returns to normal and says “Lee Harvey Oswald.”

The man replies “Wow! This goes way deeper than I thought!”

***

Told this in another thread, figured I’d share it here.

Why is sleeping so easy?
– Because you can do it with your eyes shut!

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