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Sleep jokes 💤🛌 in 2025

Why is insomnia considered to be illegal in many places?
– Because it amounts to resisting a-rest.

Why do keyboards never sleep?
– Because they have two shifts.

A husband was sleeping next to his blind wife…
He woke up feeling his wife’s hands touching all over his face. Annoyed he asked, “What are you doing?”
In a sweet voice she said, “I just love watching you sleep.”

What happens to a man who runs behind a car?
– He gets exhausted.

Do you know where all the fish fell asleep?
– On the seabed.

What happens when you replace your bed with a trampoline without telling your wife?
– She hits the roof.

What happens when you dream that you wrote ‘The Lord Of The Rings?’
– You start Tolkien in your sleep.

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you, and feel glad that you are alive?
– I just did and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again…

What would you call a sleeping bull?
– A bulldozer!

What do you call it when you get a movie role where you’re paid to sleep?
– Your dream job.

What happened when there was an arson at the mattress factory?
– The staff couldn’t rest until they found the criminal.

I recently bought a female Horse that I was hoping to ride daily, but she only sleeps during the day.
– She’s turning out to be such a Nightmare.

Why do people get tired of Facebook?
– Because everyone is just so meme.

How do you make yourself fall asleep faster?
– You decorate your bedroom like a classroom!

How do you confirm that you have insomnia?
– You know that the farmer has 897 sheep.

What is huge, grayish, and can send people to sleep?
– A hypno-potamus.

Why did the band’s guitarist pass out on stage?
– Because he rocked himself to sleep.

Pilot Bob Johnson, age 85, died peacefully in his sleep last Tuesday.
– The rest of his passengers weren’t so lucky.

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