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Sleep jokes 💤🛌 in 2025

What happened to the woman after she fell asleep with her head under the pillow?
– The fairies took all her teeth out!

Which time of the year does a bed like the most?
– Spring break.

Do you know at what time tennis players go to sleep?
– At ten-nish.

What do you call it when you sleep next to a close relative?
– Nap-kin.

Three guys were traveling for a ski trip to the mountains and had to stop in a small town to rent a room for the night.
The small mountain inn only had one room left, and it only had a single queen size bed. Being a drafty old inn, the men decided to sleep together in the same bed to conserve space and warmth.
The next morning the guy who slept on the left side of the bed said, “Oh my god, you guys, I had the greatest dream ever, I was getting the most incredible handjob from a beautiful woman!”

The guy who slept on the right side of the bed couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and said, “That’s crazy, I had a dream that I was also getting the best handjob of my life from a beautiful woman!”

The guy who had slept in the middle excitedly pumped both of his fists up and down and said, “I had a dream that I was skiing already!”

What do you call it when you dream about a waterbody filled with orange soda?
– A Fanta-sea.

Why should you splurge on an expensive mattress for your bed?
– So that you can have your dream vacation.

Why can’t a police officer sleep?
– Because when he is in the bed, he is under cover.

What do you do when you’re tired of hearing someone’s boring herb jokes?
– You tell them that it’s thyme to stop.

How does a lawyer sleep?
– He lies on one side, and then he lies on the other side!

Why is insomnia not a joke?
– Because people are losing sleep over it.

What do you call a dessert made of Graham crackers, marshmallow, and chocolate?
– S’nores.

Why did the little girl take her bicycle to bed with her?
– Because she didn’t want to sleepwalk.

Where do burgers go to sleep?
– On a bed of lettuce.

While she was sleeping, I moved her thongs to the side…
… so in can fit my socks in the same drawer.

What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common?
– You have to be asleep before they can slide down the chimney

What do you call someone who climbs into your bed and asks very specific questions?
– An undercover cop.

Scientists have shown that an uncontrollable urge to start singing the Tokens hit single “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away.
– A whim away a whim away…

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