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Sleep jokes 💤🛌 in 2025

What would you call a sleeping pizza?
– A piZZZa!

What do you call it when a mass of white wool snores on a field?
– A sleep.

My girlfriend just broke up with me for sleeping with her Grandmother
– Turns out I can’t have my Kate and Edith too.

Where do tired people go to buy their food?
– A grocery snore.

How did the sheep bring herself to sleep?
– She counted her friends!

What do you do with an elephant who has trouble sleeping?
– You give it a trunk-quilizer.

Why does the man eat yeast and shoe polish before he goes to sleep?
– So that he can rise and shine.

How do baby bats learn to sleep upside down?
– They slowly get the hang of it.

My wife said, “Did I ever tell you how great it feels when we make love?”
I said, “Gee, honey. No.”
And she said, “Exactly. Now let’s just go to sleep, OK?”

Why did the boy wake up with a puzzled look on his face?
– Because he fell asleep on a crossword.

Which is the best season for bed bugs to get married?
– The Spring.

Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked?
…or with pajamazon?

Which art supply will make you tired?
– A cra-yawn.

What do you call it when a duck sleeps with his goose friend’s wife?
– Duck cuck goose

How can you make your dreams clearer?
– Wear contact lenses to bed.

What do you do when your pet poodle snores too much?
– You get a CPUP machine.

Where do all the books in the library crash at night?
– Under their covers!

I will not sleep
– until I find a cure for my insomnia..

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