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Sleep jokes 💤🛌 in 2024

Do you know what’s common between insomnia and cashiers?
– They will both give you bags and make you wretchedly uncomfortable.

What should you do if you can’t go to sleep?
– You lie on the bed’s edge and soon you’ll drop off.

How do you stop sleepwalking?
– You stick drawing pins on the floor of the bedroom.

An old couple is getting ready to go to sleep…..
The old man lies on the bed, but the old woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, ”Why are you going to sleep on the floor?”
The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.”

I made an account on a dating site for people with sleep apnea.
– I got a couple of messages but I’m too tired to check them out

How do you write a story about your bed?
– You make it yourself.

I don’t sleep with dates on the 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, or 13th date
– It’s my prime dating rule

What do you call a very sleepy egg?
– Eggs-hausted.

Why is it so tiring to fix a toilet?
– Because the work is draining.

Why won’t I tell you about my dream that has a lion, a witch, and a wardrobe?
– Because it is Narnia business.

What do you call it when a king and queen size mattress has a baby?
– An heir mattress.

Why did the girl take a ruler with her to bed?
– To see how long she sleeps.

You should never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.
– But if you do, you will sleep like a baby.

Do you know another word for a sleeping bag?
– It’s a nap-sack!

Why is insomnia considered to be illegal in many places?
– Because it amounts to resisting a-rest.

Why do keyboards never sleep?
– Because they have two shifts.

A husband was sleeping next to his blind wife…
He woke up feeling his wife’s hands touching all over his face. Annoyed he asked, “What are you doing?”
In a sweet voice she said, “I just love watching you sleep.”

What happens to a man who runs behind a car?
– He gets exhausted.

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