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Sleep jokes 💤🛌 in 2025

What is “relative to a short sleep?”
A napkin.
Sorry.

Do you know why mountains are always tired?
– Because they don’t Everest.

What did Papa cow read to the baby cow before going to bed?
– Dairy tales.

Doctor:I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.
Patient:Great, how often do I have to take it ?
Doctor:Every two hours.

What do you call it when you dream in color?
– A pigment of your imagination.

I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, “Well, that means…”
– “It’s pasture bedtime!”

What do you find butterflies asleep on?
– Caterpillows.

How often should you sleep in a tower?
– Every fortnight.

What would you call a sleeping pizza?
– A piZZZa!

What do you call it when a mass of white wool snores on a field?
– A sleep.

My girlfriend just broke up with me for sleeping with her Grandmother
– Turns out I can’t have my Kate and Edith too.

Where do tired people go to buy their food?
– A grocery snore.

How did the sheep bring herself to sleep?
– She counted her friends!

What do you do with an elephant who has trouble sleeping?
– You give it a trunk-quilizer.

Why does the man eat yeast and shoe polish before he goes to sleep?
– So that he can rise and shine.

How do baby bats learn to sleep upside down?
– They slowly get the hang of it.

My wife said, “Did I ever tell you how great it feels when we make love?”
I said, “Gee, honey. No.”
And she said, “Exactly. Now let’s just go to sleep, OK?”

Why did the boy wake up with a puzzled look on his face?
– Because he fell asleep on a crossword.

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