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Sleep jokes 💤🛌 in 2025

What is “relative to a short sleep?”
A napkin.
Sorry.

Do you know why mountains are always tired?
– Because they don’t Everest.

What did Papa cow read to the baby cow before going to bed?
– Dairy tales.

Doctor:I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.
Patient:Great, how often do I have to take it ?
Doctor:Every two hours.

What do you call it when you dream in color?
– A pigment of your imagination.

Scientists have shown that an uncontrollable urge to start singing the Tokens hit single “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away.
– A whim away a whim away…

What do you call a sleepy truck?
– Tired.

What would you call a skeleton that’s very tired?
– A Grim Sleeper.

Do you know what kind of dreams hotels have?
– Suite dreams.

Why should professional rock-climbers take a course in mattress making?
– So that they have something to fall back on.

How will you prove that you are not a light sleeper?
– Go sleep in the dark.

Where do fish sleep?
– In the riverbed

Why did the pharmacist tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
– Because he didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills!

What do you call a horse who has insomnia and keeps you awake?
– A nightmare.

Which dinosaur makes the most noise while he is sleeping?
– A Tyrannosnorus.

Why do keyboards never sleep?
– Because they have two shifts.

Fred goes to a doctor.
He says, “Doc, I want to be castrated. ”
Doc says, “Look, I don’t know what kind of cult you’re into or what your motives are, but I’m not going to do that sort of operation. ”
Fred: “Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I’m a littlee mbarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here. Will you do it? ”
Doc says, “Well, OK, I guess I could make this one exception. I don’t understand it, but OK. ”
He puts Fred to sleep, does the trick, and is waiting at the bedside when Fred wakes up.
“Well, Doc, how’d it go? ” Fred asks.
“It went fine, just fine. It’s really not too difficult of an operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple task, and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went ahead and did that, too. I think, it’s really better for a man to be circumcised, and I hope you don’t mind my… ”

“CIRCUMCISED! ” yells Fred. “THAT’S the word!!! “

What do you call a conference with tired delegates?
– A snooze fest.

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