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Sleep jokes 💤🛌 in 2025

What is “relative to a short sleep?”
A napkin.
Sorry.

Do you know why mountains are always tired?
– Because they don’t Everest.

What did Papa cow read to the baby cow before going to bed?
– Dairy tales.

Doctor:I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.
Patient:Great, how often do I have to take it ?
Doctor:Every two hours.

What do you call it when you dream in color?
– A pigment of your imagination.

Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked?
…or with pajamazon?

Which art supply will make you tired?
– A cra-yawn.

What do you call it when a duck sleeps with his goose friend’s wife?
– Duck cuck goose

How can you make your dreams clearer?
– Wear contact lenses to bed.

What do you do when your pet poodle snores too much?
– You get a CPUP machine.

Where do all the books in the library crash at night?
– Under their covers!

I will not sleep
– until I find a cure for my insomnia..

Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date,
– we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

How does a man survive who’s locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a calendar?
– He drinks water from the bed’s springs and eats dates from the calendar.

When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
– Not screaming like the people in his car.

How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
– You rocket!

What do you call a person who is tired of playing card games?
– Cardboard.

Why are dragons asleep during the day?
– So that they can fight knights.

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