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Silly jokes in 2025

I told my friend ten jokes to make him laugh.
-Sadly, no pun in ten did.

You know what they say
– about cliffhangers…

My teachers told me I’d never amount to much since I procrastinate so much.
-I told them, “Just you wait!”

Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
-Because then they’d be bagels

Why did the optometrist set his clock to military time?
-To see 20:20.

What does a nosey pepper do?
– It gets jalapeño business.

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
-Attire.

And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
-But John came fifth and won a toaster.

You heard the rumor going around about butter?
-Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.

I couldn’t believe the highway department called my dad a thief.
-But when I got home, the signs were all there.

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
-Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.

Why were they called the “dark ages?”
-Because there were a lot of knights.

What do you call malware on a Kindle?
-A bookworm.

What do you call a religious person who sleepwalks?
-A roamin’ Catholic.

Why should you never trust stairs?
-They’re always up to something.

What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?
-“Make me one with everything.”

What do you call a fake noodle?
-An impasta.

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, ‘What’s your favorite kind of music?’
-The other replies, ‘I’m a big metal fan.’

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