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Short jokes in 2024

When the cannibal showed up late to the buffet,
-they gave him the cold shoulder.

How does the moon cut his hair?
– Eclipse it.

Why are ghosts such bad liars?
-You can see right through them.

Why did the pine tree get into trouble?
-Because it was being knotty.

What begins with an “E” but only has one letter?
-An envelope.

How do you make holy water?
-You boil the hell out of it.

How do you make an octopus laugh?
-With ten-tickles!

How do elves learn how to spell?
-They study the elf-abet.

Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
-They’re too cheesy.

What has teeth but can’t bite?
-A comb.

I put my grandma on speed dial the other day.
-I call it insta-gram.

What sound do hedgehogs make when they hug?
-Ouch!

What time is it when a ball goes through the window?
-Time to get a new window.

Why do birds fly south?
-It’s too far to walk.

A girl throws a ball as hard as she can. It comes back to her, even though nothing and nobody touches it. How?
-She throws it straight up.

Have you heard about the new restaurant called ‘Karma?’
-There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.

What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?
-The thesaurus.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
-The same middle name.

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