Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Shoe jokes 👟👠 in 2025

What is a kidnapper’s favorite type of shoe?
– White Vans

(courtesy of my dark-humored step-kiddo)

A butcher is 6 feet tall and wears size 10 shoes.
– What does he weigh? Meat.

I told my friend that he had his shoes on the wrong feet.
– He said, “These are the only feet I have, genius.”

I’m not having much luck with jobs lately.
– I couldn’t concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn’t suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn’t cut it as barber; didn’t have the patience to be a doctor; didn’t fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn’t see any future as a historian.

Why do you always put your left shoe on last?
– Because when you put one shoe on, the other one is left.

I wear same shoe size as my girlfriend
– and people say we are not solemates

What do you call two banana peels?
– A pair of slippers.

Go up to a tree and take a leak:

* If pee attracts ants, you’ve got diabetes.
* If it dries fast, your sodium is high.
* If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.
* If you forgot to unzip, it’s Alzheimer’s.
* If you missed the tree, Parkinson’s.
* If you peed on your shoes, enlarged prostate.
* If you can’t smell it, COVID 19.

another bar joke
– a duck walks into a bar wearing a shoe. the bartender says, “so you lost a shoe?” and the duck says, “no, i found one”

Your mommas so poor
– I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said “hey you lost a shoe”. She said “na I found one”

How come Winnie-the-Pooh doesn’t wear shoes?
– Because he has bear feet.

I bought my niece some fancy new graphite shoes;
– but she won’t wear them because she’s trying to decrease her carbon footprint.

What shoes do ninjas wear (dad joke N°1)
– Sneakers

A man takes his shoe off in church…
– Man 1: *takes off shoe and starts peering inside of it*

Man 2: “What the problem?”

Man 1: *Sighs* ” I guess i’m just having some problems with my inner-sole “

Have you guys heard about this new birth control method?
– It’s a rock. You put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.

What did the man who was always late put in his shoes?
– Herbs, so he could always be on thyme.

I took a test on shoes
– totally laced it

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?
– Wooden shoe like me to tell you.

[Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one]

Follow us on Facebook