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Shoe jokes 👟👠 in 2025

What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
– Open toad.

When we were kids, my brothers and I would race to put our shoes on every morning.
– It always ended in a tie.

What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman?
– “Do you sell flip-flips?”

What shoes does a rapist wear?
– White vans.

What heel outruns all the others?
– Forest Pumps

Me: You’re shoes are on the wrong feet.
– Me: You’re shoes are on the wrong feet.
4yo:

Me:

4yo:

Me:

4yo: I don’t have any other feet.

Me: Fair enough.

What are German counterfeit Adidas shoes called?
– They’re of course derdiedas. >!Cue in Americans not getting the joke!<

Did you guys hear about the shoe store that got looted in Baltimore?
– The only thing they left were the work boots.

What do you get if you cross shoe polish with yeast?
– Loafers that rise and shine

What did the hat say to the shoe?
– I’ll go on ahead, you follow on foot.

A good case for shoes
– What’s the difference between a linen store, and a nudist with diarrhea?
One has fitted sheets…

Paul’s height is six feet, he is an assistant at a butcher shop and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
– Meat.

A drunk homeless guy wanted to fight me yesterday
– As soon as he kicked me and lost his shoe I could smell defeat.

At first, I forgot how to tie my shoe
– Then I did knot.

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
– Many soles were lost.

A kindergarten teacher in Russia …
– was having picture books & telling children:

“In Russia, children wear pretty shoes, they have the softest of toys and yummy cakes. After school, mama & papa greet their little ones with open arms and carry them to a warm house & comfortable bed”

A little girl burst out in tears: “I WANT TO GO TO RUSSIA”

I had to go to the hospital without insurance.
– It wasn’t so bad, though. They let me keep my watch and my shoe.

Why did Achilles go shoe shopping?
– Because heels are his only weakness

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