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Shoe jokes 👟👠 in 2025

What shoes do ninjas wear (dad joke N°1)
– Sneakers

A man takes his shoe off in church…
– Man 1: *takes off shoe and starts peering inside of it*

Man 2: “What the problem?”

Man 1: *Sighs* ” I guess i’m just having some problems with my inner-sole “

Have you guys heard about this new birth control method?
– It’s a rock. You put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.

What did the man who was always late put in his shoes?
– Herbs, so he could always be on thyme.

I took a test on shoes
– totally laced it

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?
– Wooden shoe like me to tell you.

[Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one]

I bought some drugs from the old lady who lives in a shoe.
– They turned out to be laced.

Why do shoes come in pairs?
– Because they’re sole mates

Why was the shoe late for class?
– Because he was tied up.

Why should you wear good shoes in a fight?
– You’ll never see de feet

I was watching the Super Bowl with some friends…
– and my fiancee’s friend, who isn’t very keen on sports, is commenting on the shoe polish streaks under their eyes.

She says “I just don’t get it, what do those black things even do?”

I reply, “Well, play football, mostly.”

As I knelt down in the shoe shop with a pair of shoes in front of this sexy blonde, I couldn’t resist a quick glance up her short skirt…
– “Hey pervy!” she said. “I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls’ skirts, isn’t it?!”

What kind of shoes does a spy wear? Sneakers.

Why do rappers always buy small shoes?
– ‘Cause they all have lil ft.

My homie invited me to watch a drag race.
– I showed up to the track wearing a blonde wig and running shoes and realized I grossly misunderstood what he meant.

My cousin’s shoe store burned down yesterday
– There were so many lost soles.

I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe
– I don’t care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe

Why did Santa Claus’s shoes break?
– Because he had so many missile toes.

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