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Shoe jokes 👟👠 in 2025

A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street together…
– …when a young boy bends over to tie his shoe. The Priest leans over to the Rabbi and says, “Man, I’d sure like to screw him!” The Rabbi replies, “Out of what?”

I just killed a massive spider crawling across the floor with my shoe.
– I don’t really care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe.

Which letter has its own brand of shoes?
– A D does.

I hate buying Velcro shoes
– I don’t know why anyone would buy them they’re such a rip off

Did you hear about the shoe factory that was destroyed?
– They lost 500 souls!

Here, have a joke in spanish
– sabe inglés?”

“si”

“como se dice ‘un zapato’ en inglés?”

“a shoe”

“salud”

“gracias

What shoes do secret agents wear?
– Sneakers

What’s a car’s favourite kind of sneakers?
– Vans.

Why is it a bad idea to flush old wooden Dutch shoes down a toilet?
– It would start Clogging up

Ferguson Protestors looted a Payless Shoe store last night…
– Cleaned the place out, nothing left but work boots…

Satan’s first day on the job
– Human: “So i get anything I want?”

Satan: “Absolutely.”

Human: “You say all you want is my shoe?”

Satan: “Just the bottom part, but yes.”

What’s made of leather or canvas and sounds like a sneeze?
– A shoe.

50 years after being deported a jewish man return to his hometown’s cobbler who still has his shoes
– “They’ll be ready in 3 days!”

Beware of Lil Nas X’s Satan Shoes.
– The devil might steal your sole.

What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of shoe?
– White vans.

What did the Grim Reaper say when he walked into a shoe shop?
– I’ve come for your soles!

What’s a water bird’s favourite footwear?
– Duck Martins.

Why are unworn shoes so proud?
– They have never known da feet.

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