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Shoe jokes 👟👠 in 2025

What Shoes do Spies Wear?
– Sneakers.

What shoes do you buy when your basement is flooded?
– Pumps.

What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
– Every day you’ll rise and shine.

What did Optimus Prime say when Bumblebee said “Nice shoes!”
– Thanks, they’re Vans.

So this redneck in New York is getting mugged…
– and he fights like a wildcat, but eventually the three toughs overcome him. Two hold him down while the third grabs his wallet and opens it.
“Ten dollars??!!? You fought like a madman for *15 minutes* for a lousy ten bucks?”
“Oh no!” replied the redneck. “I thought you were going after the $500 in my shoe!”

If shoe size really is directly related to the size of a man’s package..
– Then clowns are way scarier than we all thought.

What kind of shoes do mice wear?
– Squeakers.

The guy who invented velcro shoes thought to himself
– ‘Why knot?’

What type of shoes does Voldemort wear?
– Horcrocs

A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street together…
– …when a young boy bends over to tie his shoe. The Priest leans over to the Rabbi and says, “Man, I’d sure like to screw him!” The Rabbi replies, “Out of what?”

I just killed a massive spider crawling across the floor with my shoe.
– I don’t really care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe.

Which letter has its own brand of shoes?
– A D does.

I hate buying Velcro shoes
– I don’t know why anyone would buy them they’re such a rip off

Did you hear about the shoe factory that was destroyed?
– They lost 500 souls!

Here, have a joke in spanish
– sabe inglés?”

“si”

“como se dice ‘un zapato’ en inglés?”

“a shoe”

“salud”

“gracias

What shoes do secret agents wear?
– Sneakers

What’s a car’s favourite kind of sneakers?
– Vans.

Why is it a bad idea to flush old wooden Dutch shoes down a toilet?
– It would start Clogging up

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