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Shoe jokes 👟👠 in 2025

Which are Captain Hook’s least favourite shoes?
– Crocs.

I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer
– I dunno what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.

If you could make shoes out of wood you’d be…
– A clever clogs, wooden shoe!

The New Men’s Birth Control Pill
– It’s about the size of a marble.

You put it into your shoe.

It makes you limp.

Yesterday, I went to a Louis Vuitton showroom with my wife
– I was shocked to find that my salary was printed on a shoe

Which footwear don’t plumbers like?
– Clogs.

Why dont people eat shoes?
– Because they’ve been laced

The curious case of Sherlock Holmes
– We all know the most brilliant detective of all Sherlock Holmes.

Well one day a lady came to his office inquiring him about something quite unusual.

She asked him this, “If you’re the greatest detective of all then can you tell which color panties am I wearing today?”

Sherlock had thought for a moment and responded
“Madam, you’re not wearing any panties”

Shocked she asked, “How did you known?”

Sherlock simply said “I was able to tell by the dandruff on your otherwise pristine velvet shoes

What’s a pedo’s favorite kind of shoe?
– White vans

What’s a kidnapper’s favourite shoe?
– White Vans

What kind of shoes would an artist wear?
– Sketchers.

What do you call expensive shoes?
– Cashews..

– My 9 yr old son.

What kind of a shoe has a problem?
– An issue.

The blacksmith hires an apprentice
– He instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith

How do you know it’s time to buy new shoes?
– When you stand on a penny and can tell if it’s heads or tails.

Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes
That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes

i have a nice laptop at home.
– one day I was outside playing some ball game with some girls when one of the girls asked me to come over. I said yes of course, **as usual**. We get there, take off our shoes, and she stripped naked and laid down on the bed. Then she told me to take what I want, so i took the laptop and went home.

Favorite Dad Joke
– My 4 year old cousin needs help putting her shoes on.

Cousin to my dad: “Can you put my shoes on?”

Dad: “Well I’ll try but I don’t think they’re going to fit.”

(As he tries to stuff his foot into a size 3 kids shoe)

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