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Shoe jokes 👟👠 in 2025

Which are Captain Hook’s least favourite shoes?
– Crocs.

What kind of shoes would an artist wear?
– Sketchers.

What do you call expensive shoes?
– Cashews..

– My 9 yr old son.

What kind of a shoe has a problem?
– An issue.

The blacksmith hires an apprentice
– He instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith

How do you know it’s time to buy new shoes?
– When you stand on a penny and can tell if it’s heads or tails.

Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes
That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes

i have a nice laptop at home.
– one day I was outside playing some ball game with some girls when one of the girls asked me to come over. I said yes of course, **as usual**. We get there, take off our shoes, and she stripped naked and laid down on the bed. Then she told me to take what I want, so i took the laptop and went home.

Favorite Dad Joke
– My 4 year old cousin needs help putting her shoes on.

Cousin to my dad: “Can you put my shoes on?”

Dad: “Well I’ll try but I don’t think they’re going to fit.”

(As he tries to stuff his foot into a size 3 kids shoe)

What’s made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
– A shoe

What has a tongue, six eyes and a sole? A shoe.

What shoes does a British apartment wear?
– Flats!

Where does the chicken shop for their shoes?
– Reebokbok

Have you heard about the fire in the shoe factory?
– Hundreds of soles were lost

Please drop your best one-liner dad jokes below, I need new ones.
– By one-liner I mean something along the lines of let’s make like an Autobot and roll out or put an egg in your shoe and beat it

What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
– Open toad.

When we were kids, my brothers and I would race to put our shoes on every morning.
– It always ended in a tie.

What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman?
– “Do you sell flip-flips?”

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