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Science jokes 🔬 in 2024

How do geologists ask each other out?
-They say, “Are you a carbon sample? Because I’d love to date you.”
What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of herself?
A cell-fie

What’s a mathematician’s favorite season?
Sum-mer.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed.
Guess my thymine was off.

What does the sign at the biology lab say?
-“STAPH ONLY!”

I’m fascinated by water’s gas form.
It mist-ifies me.

Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?
A burger is in its ground state.

Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous?
-That’s how you become a black hole.

There are 10 kinds of people:
-Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

Why does no one like to talk to Pi at parties?
Because he goes on forever.

Why were oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon wearing suits and ties?
-They were a formyl group.

We really shouldn’t talk about mitosis…
It’s such a divisive issue.

Biology tell me you’re 70% water. Physics tells me that you’re 99.99% empty space. Chemistry tells me that you’re 60% oxygen.
But I’m telling you that you’re a 100% CUTIE!!!

What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
-One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

What is the tornado’s favorite game?
Twister!

When all you want to do is gain potential energy…
People just keep letting you down.

What did the science book say to the math book?
-You’ve got problems.

Why did the hipster chemist get burned?
-He touched the beaker before it was cool!

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The engineer sees a two times too large.

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