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Science jokes 🔬 in 2024

How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
-A very tiny book.

What’s the best science?
Geology — it rocks!

Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets?
Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

Why is so hard to wake up in the morning?
-Newton’s First Law: A body at rest wants to stay at rest.

Why can’t you trust atoms?
-They make up everything.

What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears!

How do geologists ask each other out?
-They say, “Are you a carbon sample? Because I’d love to date you.”
What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of herself?
A cell-fie

What’s a mathematician’s favorite season?
Sum-mer.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed.
Guess my thymine was off.

What does the sign at the biology lab say?
-“STAPH ONLY!”

I’m fascinated by water’s gas form.
It mist-ifies me.

Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?
A burger is in its ground state.

Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous?
-That’s how you become a black hole.

There are 10 kinds of people:
-Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

Why does no one like to talk to Pi at parties?
Because he goes on forever.

Why were oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon wearing suits and ties?
-They were a formyl group.

We really shouldn’t talk about mitosis…
It’s such a divisive issue.

Biology tell me you’re 70% water. Physics tells me that you’re 99.99% empty space. Chemistry tells me that you’re 60% oxygen.
But I’m telling you that you’re a 100% CUTIE!!!

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