Sandwich jokes 🥪 in 2025

A sandwich walks into a bar
A sandwich walks into a bar and he asks for a lager. The barman tells him sorry but we don’t serve food here.
(The dude who works at the vaccine centre is waking around telling everyone dad jokes while they wait after their vaccine and it’s great.)

How do you make friends with a meat sandwich?
– You tell it a bunch of bologna

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads…
…”Cheese sandwich $3.50. Chicken sandwich $4.50. Handjob $5.” He checks his wallet and calls over the waitress. He asks, “Are you the one who does the handjob?”
She smiles at him seductively and says, “I am.”
He says, “Well, wash your fuckin’ hands. I want a cheese sandwich.”

There’s a strange new trend at work, people are writing names on the food in the company fridge
– Today I had a chicken sandwich named Kevin

The ‘sandwich artist’ turned my toppings into bottoms
– Fitting, for a sub.
*precautionary NSFW tag; idk, I dont post much

Why doesn’t Chick-fil-a have a double chicken sandwich?
– 2 chicks together isn’t really their thing.

What do you eat at the beach?
– A Sand-wich.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads…
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.
“Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” he asks.
“Yes,” she purrs. “I am.”
“Well, wash your hands,” says the man. “I want a chicken sandwich!”

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.
“Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” he asks.
“Yes,” she purrs. “I am.”
“Well, wash your fuckin’ hands,” says the man. “I want a cheese sandwich!”

Two lawyers enter a restaurant.
– They both pull up suitcases onto the table they’re on, and take out a sandwich each from their suitcases. Seeing this, a waiter comes up to them and tells them they cannot eat their own food in the restaurant. With an irritated tsk and a shake of the head, the two lawyers exchange their sandwiches, much to the despair of the unfortunate waiter.

I was enjoying a sandwich on a cliff, but it fell from my hands.
I thought to myself…
“This sub has gone downhill”.

What is yellow and white and travels at 500 miles per hour?
– A pilot’s egg sandwich.

A sandwich walks into a bar
– and orders a beer. The bartender replies “Sorry. We don’t serve food”.

What do you call a witch that likes to go to the beach?
– A sandwich

TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway
– Whops, wrong sub.

A girl was at the store getting a sandwich and some chips and the guy at the checkout asked “do you want to go for a drink?”
To which she says “I’m flattered but I have a boyfriend”
And the guy replied “No. It’s part of the meal deal”

A man walks up to a counter and says . . .
A man walks up to a counter and says, “Gimme a kielbassi sandwich and a beer.”
“Ah,” says the person behind the counter. “You must be Polish.”
The customer becomes irate. “Now, just a minute,” he says, “I happen to take offense at that! Why are you assuming that just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer I must be Polish?”
“Well-”
“If I ordered a plate of spaghetti, would you assume I’m Italian?”
“Well, no.”
If I ordered corned beef and cabbage, would you assume I’m Irish?”
“No.”
“Then why,” said the customer, “are you assuming I’m Polish just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer?”
“Well . . . this is a hardware store.”

A biker walks into a bar…
…and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger – 2.99
Cheeseburger – 3.99
Chicken Sandwich – 4.99
Hand Jobs – 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” The bartender blushes slightly and says “Yes, I am” with a sexy little smile. The biker grins and says “Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger.”