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Sandwich jokes 🥪 in 2025

In the Resident Evil series, how does one make a proper Jill Sandwich?
– You put it between two slices of Breadfield and then add some Weskershire sauce.

Husband: The kids haven’t eaten their sandwiches
Wife: ok just throw them out

[Later]
Husband: *helping the kids pack a suitcase* look I’m as surprised as you are

Willpower
– I’d just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn, & a jumbo sausage. A poor, homeless man sat there and said ‘I haven’t eaten for two days.’

I told him, ‘I wish I had your will power.’

BOSS: What’s going on here?
BOSS: What’s going on here?
JAMES: Dave’s mad because he specifically labelled his sandwich in the fridge and I accidentally-
DAVE: Not accidentally, on purpose!!
JAMES: ugh ok FINE. And I, “on purpose”, slept with his wife

What does Bugs Bunny put on his intergalactic PB&J sandwich?
– Space jam.

Went to my local sandwich shop and asked for “a sub filled to the brim with cheese and baloney”
– They just linked me to r/jokes

Where do golfers go to eat?
– The sand-wedge shop

TIFU by eating my coworkers sandwich instead of mine.
– oops wrong sub.

I saw my ex working at subway the other day
– So I stopped in and had her make me a sandwich, for old times sake.

What did McDonalds call their new disappearing sandwich?
– The McCaan Burger

You’re probably Ghana think”no one will Bolivia. There’s just Norway.”
– I thought I Kuwait but then I Saudi Turkey, Iraq of ribs and a Canada best sauce and my Bahrain was like Oman, I Israel Hungary… so Iran to the kitchen to put Greece in the pan.

I hoped it could get Finnish quickly and because I was Russian, I didn’t Czech the label and accidentally added Chile. When I went to the loo I badly burnt my Holland I passed out.

I ended up in a hospital in Taiwan. I received Taipei blood and discharged. I had nowhere Togo and it was the worst situation I’ve ever Benin. I thought my wife would be worried or Rwanda where I’ve been.

I needed food and thought Alaska. I phoned her and asked “Kenya bring me a sandwich?” she brought me pineapple on a bun because she knows it’s just Hawaii roll.

The end.

The best way to stop a sandwich curling is to hide its brushes.

Wife and husband are in the living room.
She’s doing stuff in her computer, while he’s sitting on the couch typing on his phone.
At one point, wife’s cellphone receives a message.
Her phone is charging in the kitchen, so she stands up from her desk and goes to the kitchen.
At the kitchen, she looks up her phone and see’s a text message from her husband.
“Well, since you’re in the kitchen, might as well make me a sandwich.”

What’s a whale’s favorite sandwich?
– A krill-cheese sandwich

(This is a popular joke where I’m from). A boy boards a bus with a sandwich in his hand.
The bus driver says: ” hey, this ain’t a restaurant, kid!”
The boy replies: “I know. That’s why I brought my own food.”

KID: “Dad, make me a sandwich!”
DAD: “Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

Priest and Rabbi
– A priest and a rabbi were having lunch and the priest asked, “Have you ever strayed from not eating pork?” The rabbi said, “Well, once, but there was absolutely nothing else to eat, so I had a ham sandwich.”
Then the rabbi asked the priest, “Did you ever stray from your vow of celibacy?” The priest said, “Yes, just once.”
And the rabbi said, “Sure beats a ham sandwich, doesn’t it?”

I went to subway with my wife and asked the girl to make me a sandwich.
She said “no problem”
I turned to my wife and said “now, how hard was that?”

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