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Sandwich jokes 🥪 in 2025

What do you call a horse meat sandwich in Kentucky?
– Last placed.

Why do hamburgers go to the gym?
– To get better buns.

TIFU By Eating My Boss’s Sandwich
– Oops wrong sub.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer.
– The bar man says, “sorry, we don’t serve food”.

The Cheeseburger
Man walks into a bar and the sign reads:
Cheeseburger – $1.50
Chicken Sandwich – $2.00
Hand Jobs – $10.00
He calls over the waitress and asks: “Are you the one who gives the handjobs?”
She smiles and answers: “Yes I am!”
So the man replies: “Can you please wash you hands, I want a cheeseburger.”

Man 1: “I love sandwiches!” Man 2: “Me too. By the way, I heard you just bought a horse! What did you name it?” Man 1: “Mayo.” Man 2: “Mayo? Why Mayo?”
Man 1: “Because he neighs.”

Friends told me to bring bangers and rockets to their fireworks party. My sausage and peppery lettuce sandwiches didn’t go down well.

What did the caveman order at the cafeteria?
– A Club Sandwich

Why did the chemist die after making himself a Pb & Jelly sandwich?
– He got lead poisoning.

Me and my buddy got into a debate about flat bread being used for sandwiches.
– We decided it was a naan issue.

TIFU by ordering a Roast Beef instead of Chicken Teriyaki sandwich.
– Oops, wrong sub.

If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then…
… you dilly dally in the Dalai’s deli daily.

Did you hear the one about the armless man and the tuna sandwich?
– **He didn’t make it.**

A despondent young woman who had lost her job and her house had decided to commit suicide.
She was walking along a bridge across the harbor, getting the nerve to jump in, when a young man saw her.
“Don’t do it!” he called out. He looked at her and realized she was incredibly beautiful. He came closer.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. The woman told him.
“Okay, here’s the thing,” he said. “I’m a crew member on a ship that leaves for Europe tomorrow morning. How about you come with me on the ship. I’ll bring you food and drink.” He slid his arm around her. “I keep you happy, you keep me happy.”
She agreed. After all, there wasn’t much else to do. She didn’t have family. The man was quite handsome as well. No harm in trying.
The next morning, he hid her in one of the lifeboats on the ship with a pillow and a blanket. Every night, he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made love until dawn.
One day, about a week after the affair started, the captain was doing his rounds and found her inside one of the lifeboats. “What the hell are you doing here?” She explained what was going on.

“I get food and a trip to Europe, and he gets to screw me.”

“He sure does, sweetheart. This is the Sydney Harbor Ferry.”

What does Anakin Skywalker never order at a restaurant?
– Sandwiches.

Visited my dad and he made me a breakfast sandwich and I joked him for a change.
He made us all egg sandwiches, over easy – runny and delicious. I got some on my hand and as I went to lick it off said, “Yolks on me.”
Dad went, “Heh. That’s my girl.”
Ain’t no higher praise.

Why are Subway cooks called “Sandwich Artists”?
– Even art majors deserve recognition

What do you call someone from Alabama stuck in a sandwich?
– Inbread.

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