Sandwich jokes 🥪 in 2025

I’ve just been out to the shop to buy 25 sandwiches for all my colleagues in the office
– I kept them all in separate bags though – didn’t want to put all my Greggs in the same basket

Had a mean sandwich the other day. Tasted average.

TIFU by making my customer the wrong sandwich, giving her an allergic reaction.
– Whoops. Wrong sub.

What’s a singer’s favorite sandwich?
– So-la-mi

My mum keeps moaning about the cost of things these days. £2.50 for a sandwich, £1.50 for coffee, £12.50 for a Sunday lunch….
– So I say to her, “look Mum, my house, my prices!”

I remember 30 years ago with a dollar you went to the supermarket and went out with 2 sandwiches, 1 box of 6 beers and a pack of cigars.
– Today, unfortunately, there are cameras everywhere.

A panda walks into a restaurant
and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter.
As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn’t even pay for your sandwich!”
“Hey, man, I’m a PANDA!” the panda shouts back. “Look it up!
“The manager opens his dictionary and reads: “Panda: a tree-dwelling-mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white-coloring. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking.
– It was so disgusting I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.

why do people from Alabama love sandwiches?
– they like things that are inbread

Every time my mom burns my grilled cheese sandwich I get a stomach ache…
– I guess I’m black toast intolerant.

A Ham Sandwich Walks into a Bar..
Strolls up to the bartender and says ‘Pint of lager please mate’
Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says ‘Sorry mate, we don’t serve food here’
Edit; Sorry that this is causing so much controversy in Dad joke world. My Dad literally told me this joke and it totally is a ‘Dad joke’ in my eyes!
Edit 2 Just want to say some of these comments have had me in bits! Keep them coming Dads! #DadPower

Strange trend at my office…
– People are naming food in the break room refrigerator. Today I ate a sandwich named “Kevin”.

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. There is a small menu on the bar, so he picks it up and reads:
“Cheese sandwich: $2.50
Handjob: $5”
A gorgeous woman is the bartender, and she comes over to get the guys order. He asks her “are you the one who gives the handjobs?” The leggy blonde flips back her curly hair and silkily says with a wink and seductive smile “why yes, I am.”
“Well wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich.”

Sandwiches
– There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff.
The Englishman said, “If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I’ll jump off this cliff.”
The Scotsman said, “If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I’ll jump off the cliff.”
The Irishman said, “If I have ham tomorrow, I’ll jump off the cliff.”
The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped.
At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, “Why didn’t they just tell us they didn’t like their sandwiches?” The Irish lady said, “I don’t know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches.”

I left my sandwich in the elevator at work.
– I wanted to take my lunch to the next level

I’d tell you the joke about some jam on a piece of bread but you might spread it.

What is the preferred sandwich of the working class? [OC]
– A plebian-J.

I wrote a song about a sandwich
– Well it’s more of a wrap really