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Sandwich jokes 🥪 in 2025

How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
– He forgot to wrap his whopper.

Did you hear about the chemist who died of lead poisoning?
– He tried to make himself a Pb&J sandwich

(This is a popular joke where I’m from). A boy boards a bus with a sandwich in his hand.
The bus driver says: ” hey, this ain’t a restaurant, kid!”
The boy replies: “I know. That’s why I brought my own food.”

What do you call someone from Alabama stuck in a sandwich?
– Inbread.

What’s better than a tuna sandwich?
– A three-na sandwich

I completed my toasted sandwich sticker album earlier today. It’s by Panini.

How do you confuse a feminist
– Tell her you won’t let her make a sandwich for you because she is female

Did ya’ll hear about the guy from India whose sandwich shop burnt down!?
– He’ll be alright. He got a loan to open a New Delhi.

if you were sandwiched between your parents, and you were an inch deep in your mom, and your dad was an inch deep in you, would you move forward or backward to get out?
interviewer: we meant questions about the job

Vaginas are like sandwiches.
– If I see pieces of cucumber inside one, I immediately back away.

A crusty old biker walls into a bar..
..and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger – 2.99
Cheeseburger – 3.99
Chicken Sandwich – 4.99
Hand Jobs – 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” The bartender blushes slightly and says “Yes, I am” with a sexy little smile.
The biker grins and says “Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger.”

A sandwich walks into a bar
Bartender says “we don’t serve sandwiches.”
Sandwich says “that’s ok I just wanted a drink”

A roadside cafe sells ham sandwiches and handjobs
The sign reads “Ham Sandwiches: $3, Handjobs: $10”.
An elderly woman is standing behind the counter. A customer walks up and says, “Are you the one that gives the handjobs?”
“Yes I am!” she replies.
“Well, wash your goddamn hands, I want a ham sandwich!”

If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then…
… you dilly dally in the Dalai’s deli daily.

Who casts spells at the beach?
– The Sand-witch.

How do you confuse a feminist?
– Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.

I didn’t feel like cooking tonight, so I made a sandwich for dinner
It wasn’t so much as a sandwich as much as it was just bread.
I guess more just grain.
Fermented grain.
Distilled, fermented grain.
I had whisky for dinner tonight.

A Subway sandwich maker has a very eccentric regular customer.
– The eccentric customer always orders a tuna sandwich, but heavily modified, made with an extra cup of mayo, smothered in chili peppers, red peppers, onions, and pickles, then toasted until it’s burnt. It looks and smells disgusting and the worker dreads it when he sees that customer come in.
r>Finally he asks his boss if he can just not wait on that customer. His boss asks why.

The worker screams in frustration: “I hate the mods on that sub!”

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